You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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