theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
