Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
