Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
