is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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