well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize