I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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