Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
