my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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