At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
