i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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