these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
