I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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