I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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