i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
