My first STD was from a foam party
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize