some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
