East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
