Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
