I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
