I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
