i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
