My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
