i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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