clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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