I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
