ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
