I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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