I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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