We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
