I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
