Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
