I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The feeling are messing with the penis
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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