She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize