? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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