You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
