Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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