But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
