Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize