are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
