imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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