Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sobbing to NWA
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
