is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
