Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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