This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
