So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
