why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
