He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
