Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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