I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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