Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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