i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
