What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
