hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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