My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
