We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize