plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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