Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
And then he peed in my hair
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