I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
