OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
