Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
