If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wish my penis had a tongue
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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