hell yes lets make some ravioli
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
