I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
