It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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