I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize