Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize