i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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