I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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