dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
