called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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