I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
