Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
