I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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