turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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