The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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