He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
